The Cave

Trying to get things done in Russia can be a tiny bit frustrating. Neither of us are strangers to bureaucracy - on the contrary (just ask anyone living in Japan!), but the new levels we experienced on our fateful trip to the main post office in Moscow were truly humbling.

So… Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to buy a box and post home an assortment of souvenirs, books and maps. If you are caught in the execution of you mission we will deny all knowledge of your existence (but we would like the souvenirs). This blog entry will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Ahem… Sorry.

We went to window number one. “Nyet. Other building”.

We went to “other building” and found a counter with many boxes for sale. “Nyet. Other window”.

We went to “other window”. Our souvenirs were weighed. “You need to buy box - Other window”.

By this point we had the assistance of a very kind Greek dude, who had evidently been through this rite of passage and took pity on the novices.

We bought a couple of boxes from the same “Nyet” woman.

We began to pack our bits and bobs into the boxes. “Nyet. No books allowed in the same box as souvenirs. They go from other office”

We cunningly decided to bend the rules by wrapping the books in newspaper before loading them into the boxes.

Our greek friend sidled up - “Errm. you can’t wrap anything in newspaper, you need to use this brown paper”

By this point it was becoming increasingly clear that we were never going to actually pack the damn things before the window shut, despite arriving at the post office two hours before it was due to close, so we aborted the mission, shoved the boxes under one arm and ran away!

The now infamous boxes will be on display at the Jersey and Belbroughton branches of the Marriette-Westley Museum having been carefully delivered there by hand.

And so we reached the official end of the Trans-Siberian/Mongolian train journey. The trip from Ekaterinburg was relatively uneventful, and involved copious amounts of beer, and keeping company with our rafting mates (”hello” to Yikshiu and Yikwei!!!).

Moscow is a really fabulous place, but I get the feeling even if I had more than one change of clothes, there’s no way I could be fashionable enough to live here! And everything is really, really expensive. Apart from the metro, which is stunning, efficient, and really interesting!

We’ve pottered round the Kremlin, dozed in the sunshine, visited many, many Russian Orthodox churches, been to a convent, and eaten lots and lots of really good food. And got drunk on Armenian Cognac! (Thanks to tour-guide Gleb from Ekaterinburg for the recommendation!).

We’re slowing up our pace, however, as we begin to feel the last two and a half months on the road catch up with us. My one pair of socks is ridden with holes, my only trousers are wearing thin, and my jumper’s gone very saggy. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep (blame it on the dorm rooms and train journeys), but very, very happy with all the things we’ve experienced.

Given the time over again, I wouldn’t have changed a thing (except, perhaps, for spending less time in China, and more in Mongolia…).

One last train trip left: to St Petersburg.

Once we were installed in our compartment on the “Baikal” train, complete with bright blue paint and provodnitsas (like an air stewardess but on a train) with unfeasably short skirts, we met our companions for the next leg of the trip - Sergei and Sergei. One Sergei seemed to be getting on too well with the provodnitsa and kept disappearing in the night, but that’s another story!

We had exhausted our supplies of bread, cheese and wine by the time we pulled into Ekaterinburg - a city that is famous for three things:
1 - It is the “Gateway to Asia” for Russia
2 - The Romanovs were murdered and buried here
3 - Shooting down Gary Powers in his U2 spy plane

During our stay we were fortunate to have lodgings with Olga, her crazy mother, and her even crazier cat (Marrrrrrrrsi).

The cat was somewhat long-suffering, having to tap a little bell and stroke an abacus in order to get a catty treat. It did however get it’s revenge by crapping in the corner of the bathroom, despite the two strategically placed litter trays.

The story of the demise of the Romanovs has been swelled to epic proportions due to their canonization by the Russian Orthodox church. There now stands a rather OTT marble church at the location of their murders, and a huge monastery complex at the site where their remains were found.

Possibly the most exciting event during our time in Ekaterinburg was being involved in a massively huge car accident….

ok, ok, so it wasn’t that dramatic…

To cut a long story short, we were in an ex-military transport heading out on an excursion into the Ural mountains when the brakes gave out. It felt like we went over a speed bump (although we saw everything happen). Our vehicle was completely unscathed, but the two cars we rammed were evidently in need of some rouble-repairs.

We should add that although this happened right near to a bus stop on a busy 5-lane main road, no-one was hurt, and we didn’t actually feel in danger at any point.

This slight hiccup did allow us some time to potter round some of the best museums of the city, and we still managed to take our rafting and hiking trip the next day.

The irony of the whole thing was we were given this excursion by the company we booked our train tickets through for free, due to our association with JET!!! Guess you get what you pay for…

Anyway…on to Moscow…

Thirteen and a half hours.

THIRTEEN AND A HALF HOURS.

That is how long we were stuck at the Mongolian-Russian border. Most of that time was spent on the Russian side. And for the most part we had no access to a toilet. At all. Which meant that our best idea of passing the time (drinking) was not a very good one…

…just as well we had some good company, really!

I now know where Wisconsin is (near the big lakes, in the middle), that it’s a “swing state” (and what a swing state is), I’ve been enlightened about Scientology, Korean chopsticks (I want to get a pair - they’re cool!!!), and who’s who on the US notes (but I have to admit I can’t remember that bit…). Actually, it was all really interesting! And my general knowledge has definitely improved!

For my part, I’m afraid our cabin-mates might have been bored to tears with useless facts about Jersey…and Japan… (Carry and Cory - I’m sorry!!!)

Well, finally we made it into Irkutsk - our first stop in Russia. It took a while to get all our accommodation and stuff sorted, which involved a long discussion with Arlena - a very helpful lady, who insisted that everything was “no problem”. “Really. No problem”. (ok, ok, so it sounds cooler in a Russian accent.) Arlena taught us that we can understand - at high speed - a l o n g tirade in a mix of Russian, German and (just-about-) English. And Tom had the interesting experience of “strawberries and cream” tea. Yum. (!)

So we spent two days in a gorgeous little wooden cabin thing by lake Baikal. It was really relaxing, and we found a great place to eat. In fact, it was fortunate that it was a great place to eat, as it was the ONLY place to eat. But it was cheap, and the food was wonderful! The barman also introduced us to Russian billiards (after desparing at us for trying to play normal pool on a table with tiny pockets, huge balls, and no colours…except one red one…).

The weather didn’t hold out for us. It rained. But it gave us the great excuse to try a “banya” - sauna-thingy. Well, it’s not like an onsen (but then again, what is), but it was definitely a warming experience!

Back in Irkutsk, we did a homestay with a crazy babushka. She was tiny, forceful, and incredibly efficient! She was a fabulous communicator, too. Despite speaking virutally no English, and wittering away at us in Russian, we understood what she meant. Er. We think.

One of the best parts of Irkutsk (apart from lake Baikal) was the market - full of fresh meats, fruit, veg, cheeses, wines, beers, and anything else you could possibly imagine! Which meant we stocked up very well for the next leg of the trans-siberian.

Ahhh…forget all this instant-pot-ramen rubbish…travel in style with wine, cheese, fresh bread, olives and fruit!

Ahh! What a relief to be free from the stench of China!

Although we’ve only spent four days in Mongolia, the wonderful expereinces we’ve had will stay with us for a very long time.

Having eventually found accommodation in a small guest house in Ulaan Baatar, and having pottered around the very cosmopolitan streets of the city, we asked the owner of the guest house how we could see more of Mongolia. As luck would have it, some of her family happened to live in a ger a couple of hours drive outside of the capital.

One Land Rover bounce later (actually, a few hundred…), through some beautiful rolling hills, and far away from anything which can be described as a road, we arrived at our home for the next two days.

WOW

It’s a bit of cliche to say it was picture perfect…but it was. We were ushered into the main ger (a sort of round, felt-and-fur-covered wooden tent thing) to sample some “urum” (like the crust from clotted cream), and some “tsai” (very milky tea), before being shown into our very own ger.

The air was so invigorating, we literally ran up the tallest hill near the ger, and stood at the top, in total awe of the landscape around us.

It’s not really possible to describe what we experienced while staying in the ger, but a few highlights are:

- sampling lots of random food and drink, including fermented mares milk (which is actually pretty good…)
- going on no less than 3 horse rides (which involved me using a whip to try to get my horse into motion, and Adele - looking like she was about to take off vertically - flapping about on the beast in a vain attempt to get it to budge)

- introducing the concept of “frisbee” to nomadic herdspeople! (the teenage boys had a great time, and after 30 seconds, were far better than us)
- seeing more stars than I’ve ever seen before

- being entertained (and entertaining) the kids of the family…for hours!!!
- watching the sun rise over the hills into the virtually empty, and completely unspoiled valleys
- learning that it IS possible to survive happily without: a) running water, b) electricity, c) a toilet (I don’t think a dried river-bed counts!)

We both feel like we learned a lot from the experience, and would jump at the chance to do it again! In fact, when the time came to leave Mongolia itself, we both felt rather sad. I have a sneaky suspicion we may very well return…!

We did it. We finally did it. We escaped from China!

Hopping onto the Trans-Mongolian train, armed with beer, wine, a baguette, vast amounts of reading matter and some rolled oats, we continued our journey home.

The train was very comfortable, and Tom and I thoroughly enjoyed our “delux-class” cabin. Well…we thought we’d treat ourselves for the first step of the journey. Actually, we were just curious about what it was all about…!

We travelled slower than I thought, which gave us the great oportunity to stare out of the window at the ever-changing scenery. Playing cards and books forgotten, we sat and stared as the countryside changed from ramshackle low brick “estates” to rolling green hills, to the scrub-land of the Gobi desert. Watching the sun set over the Gobi was a truly awe-inspiring experience.

We reached the China-Mongolia border at around 8.30pm, and left around 1.20am. The passport/customs procedure was all very straightforward. Most of the time was taken up with the changing of the bogeys. Both Russia and Mongolia use wide-guage tracks, whereas China (and most of the rest of the world) use tracks about 10cm narrower. We stayed on the train for the wheel-changing operation, and even I have to admit it was a very interesting experience. Tom and his camera were glued to the window for the whole time!

Because of all the excitement (and wine) the night before, we weren’t up in time to watch sunrise. The view we awoke to of Mongolia was amazing, though. More desert (which looked pretty much the same as the day before), but scattered around the scrub-land at intervals…gers. A ger is a traditional Mongolian dwelling. Low, circular, and transportable. Perfect if you’re a nomad.

We were suprised to see it was raining in the Gobi…

The train journey itself was really enjoyable - a perfect way to travel, I think. You really appreciate the distance travelled! And when it got too dark to stare out of the window, we spent two hours learning how to read cyrillic, in preparation for Mongolia and Russia. Until we got too drunk.

Anyway, we arrived safely in Ulaan Baatar, which is much, much nicer than Shanghai, Xi’an or Beijing. The air is fresh and clean, the streets aren’t lined with rubbish (or worse), the people are happy, and don’t stare! Even the street kids have been keeping us amused (a couple earned themselves a large packet of digestive biscuits for entertaining us while we were waiting for our transport to the hostel).

But that’s another story…